Holiday Stroking

‘She’s Masturbating and Getting Her Fiber’ – Photo Courtesy of FTV Girls

Do you know what May is’ Well, it’s National Masturbation Month. Yes, you read that correctly. This month celebrates the most incredible form of sex: playing with yourself. So I thought it was appropriate to jack off to some female masturbation videos from FTV Girls. Won’t you join me’

While I realize that to some of you every month is masturbation month, it’s still good to celebrate our own form of self pleasure. After all, not everyone is as evolved as us ‘wankers’ who love to stroke our meat, spank our monkey, bopping the bologna, choking the chicken or any other jacking off euphemism we can think of. And what better to do it to than FTV Girls.

This site features some of the loveliest 18-23 year old babes who not only love to show off their amazing (and yes, I do mean amazing) bodies and play with themselves on camera. Which means that you can actually jerk off to girls jerking off. How meta is fucking that’ Myself, I think it’s pretty fucking clever but then again maybe that’s just me.

Of course, when girls play with themselves they don’t call it jerking off. No, I’m sure they’d call it something really nice. Personally, when I see a chick ‘flicking her bean’ then I usually end up calling it something like beating the beaver, shucking the clam, greasing the gash, polishing the pussy, cleaning the cunt, slamming the clam or spinning a record. Damn, I think I just ran out of female masturbation euphemisms. Hmm, I’m sure I’ll think of some more later.

I’m not sure who decided to dedicate the whole month of may to masturbation or even why. I guess whoever invented it thought that Masturbation May worked out well, although I imagine March would have worked just as well. I don’t know, it just seems kind of strange to dedicate the whole month to burping the worm, choking Kojak or flogging the mule.

Anyway, what was I saying’ Oh, I know. It’s National Masturbation Month so be sure to check out FTV Girls and make some belly pancakes, rub Rob Reiner, beat the bishop or buff the banana. In other words, check out some of the lovely ladies on this site and pretend like you’re fucking them. I know, they are probably out of your league but that’s okay because I’m pretty sure I’d have a shot at fucking anyone of them. At least, that’s what I tell myself when I break out the tissues and lotion.

Okay, fellow masturbaters, I think it’s time for me to jet. After all, I’ve spent quite enough time playing with myself here today’wouldn’t you say’ Come back next time when I’ll have my thoughts on some other fucking issue, whatever the fuck that’s going to be. Just be sure to clean yourself after all of that bic flicking, hose humping and oiling the glove. Okay, I’ll stop now.